A time for collisions

This will be brief. Why is it that in the same week we have a collision between two satellites, from two different countries, and as that is going on, a bit of a fender-bender between a British and a French nuclear sub, each carrying a death-ship load of nuclear missiles? Although I am deeply reassured by the press release that states this is a "one in a million chance", that is, of a couple of nuclear-armed, nuclear-powered submarines going bump in the night, I guess that chance has now been reduced to no more than one in 999,999. However, the news that the missiles can't be launched accidentally has reduced my need to take Valium to sleep on this particular evening. The same can't be said for space SUV's ramming each other. You'd think with that giant void out there we could eliminate the possibility of smashing into each other's satellites, but, no, that is not the case. I guess there are optimum orbits for various classes of devices, and there is no orderly process for assigning orbits. As it is, we are tracking some 18,000 objects out there including debris of various sorts and sizes, but apparently we missed this one. Which undermines the entire tracking process and gives me precious little faith. Given that a surprising amount of global communication, TV distribution, phone calling, and all the rest depend on those little blobs in the sky, having a bunch of destructive detritus scattered over a few hundred vertical miles of near space could be more than a nuisance. You think it is bad when sand and pebbles hit your windshield while driving the interstate? Imagine colliding with a chunk of metal while traveling at orbital speeds. That could hurt. Or put your eye in the sky out. Of course expecting coordination between any of the agencies hurling objects into space is beyond laughable. But why can't the French and the British at least tell each other where their submersible nuclear launch pads are cruising. Oh wait. The French . . . the British . . . never mind.

And thus, never mind global communications. I didn't need that cell phone or DirectTV anyway. Never knew Comcast could be such a bargain. The last 'man' standing. At least until a satellite falls on their headquarters.